#also besties u would think i am crazy for telling u who i met up for dinner today but thats a story for another day <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sparklingchim]

the boy i think of when i listen to the 1 soft launched his gf on ig pls pray for me during these atrocious times </3 😔😔😔😔

[ilys00ga]

hellooo, ur blog is such a comfort for me <3 ! can i request yoongi meeting reader who’s quite literally the same person as him. he could’ve met the reader through one of the members trying to hook them up. “you two are so alike it’s scary, i think you’d be a match made in heaven”. so yoongi agrees..eventually. but when he meets the reader, it’s horrible! their similar personalities clash in the worst way possible. it’s pretty funny to everyone, because they totally thought they were in matchmaker mode?? the two constantly talk about how they couldn’t stand each other, so it surprised everyone when yoongi just admitted that he’d and the reader had been dating for a few months after their first meeting. loll

A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

pairing: yoongi x reader.

genre: fluff, i tried to make it funny loool, best friends to lovers, non idol au (?), non idol!yoongi, non idol!jimin, non idol!namjoon, jimin is the dramatic bestie and namjoon is just the very supportive friend that's happy to be there.

warnings: this is pure fiction and English is not my first language.

A/N: okay so, there was also this one ask I got from @parkjennykim that says: "Hiiii ❤️ hope this finds you well. Could you write a fluffy bsf to lovers with yoongi? Theres hardly any of those out there 😭 i need some fluff ive been too deprived and depressed".

I thought these two were similar so I decided to merge them, I hope that's ok for both of u :). thank u sm for sending these reqs, I really appreciate it and I hope u enjoy this read. do not hesitate to send more if u want to !

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

“I'm sorry, WHAT?!” Jimin, who’d been slouched on the couch with his head leaning against its rolled arm, sat up straight and goggle-eyed as soon as he heard what Yoongi had said.

The latter only rolled his eyes, not surprised one bit at his friend’s dramatic reaction. In fact, he expected it to be so much worse, but he guessed the younger one was just too tired that day for all of that. “don’t be loud.” he hissed and crossed his arms.

“hyung, are you serious?” Namjoon asked from where he was sitting with his chopsticks hanging in the air near his mouth as he too was stunned by the eldest’s statement.

“why the hell would i lie and say that me and __ have been dating for almost two months now?” Yoongi muttered through narrowed his eyes. "TWO MONTHS- woah, this is crazy. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” The youngest of the three covered his face with his hands and heaved a big, disappointed sigh.

“Seriously, why is he so annoying today?”

Namjoon chuckled as the older continued side eyeing their dongsaeng, “hyung, he’s just really happy for you. I too am.”

“I’m very happy, yes, but, hyung, how could you hide such a thing from me? I literally helped you grow the balls to ask her out.” Jimin whined and slouched back down on the couch with a growing pout, “I've been waiting for you two to get together for months.”

It's true, Jimin was a man on a mission ever since he’d noticed the insanely similar character traits when you and your (now) boyfriend met for the very first time. two individual human beings but the exact same patterns and edges. on a large scale, talking to you always felt like talking to Yoongi and vice versa.

It was like a game to him. It made him buzz with excitement, reminding himself every now and then to keep a close eye and count all the similarities you two shared. not that it was hard to notice to begin with: having almso the exact same taste (especially in music), always sitting silently when being around other people and speaking little amounts of words when necessary, getting flustered and smiling shyly when being complimented, being chill and too soft to scold or yell at anyone (most of the time), having that same slow tone in your voices whenever you talk, having random bursts of energy or playful teasing despite the cold facade both of you display, getting so talkative when it comes to topics and things you’re so passionate about, being very honest but never too rude or offensive about it, being the most hardworking people jimin has probably ever met in his entire life—something that nevers fails to admire about the two of you.

You and Yoongi were so similar, even your bad habits and red flags matched. When setting your mind on finishing a task—say a project for example—you’d wear your bodies out for the sake of completing it, even if it meant you’d stay up several hours late during the night. and when mad or during intense clashes and arguments, you would put thick walls between you and the other person, ignoring and shutting them out until you're human enough to confront them. sometimes it’s too hard to even apologize, instead, you’d slowly start approaching them as if nothing had happened at all.

“No wonder you two ended up together, you’re basically a match made in heaven.” Namjoon nodded his head as he munched on his food, as if approving of his own statement.

“i know! and the way you wasted your time pinning on each other was killing me.” being the biggest shipper of your pair, Jimin huffed as he spoke with a very serious tone.

“how did you guys even make it?” namjoon asked.

“We hit it off right after the first date.” Yoongi answered with a shrug, acting as nonchalant as ever.

“you mean the date i had set for you?” it was jimin who asked this time, and when Yoongi nodded in confirmation, the younger groaned and buried his face into the couch, “hyung, you are seriously the worst.”

“hyung, you both are coffee addicts, take her to a new café this time!” Jimin suggested with a huge grin on his face. after finding out that you two secretly liked each other, he spent weeks pressuring Yoongi to confess his feelings for you. He couldn’t believe that his hyung finally obliged after many “no”s and “I don’t like __ that way.”s and “we’re just friends.”s. it was getting really annoying.

YG: “Can we hang out tomorrow? as two people wanting to know each other.”

ME: “Are you asking me on a date?”

YG: “yeah?”

ME: “okay :)”

that was the conversation you had with him the day before he took you on a cute café date. The place was impressively good, but the date was the complete opposite of that. Nothing bad happened, yet sitting down with someone you’ve known for a good period of time and have shared good amounts of vulnerability with in that intimate context was too unpleasant. Both of you struggled to find comfort and normality in the heavy awkward silence that fell on the table. and everytime he would try to play it off and throw some joke or normal piece of conversation that he found appropriate for a date, you two ended up laughing int your sweaty palms because of how ridiculous the whole situation was.

“stop laughing!” Yoongi exclaimed while his shoulders shook, giggling.

“I'm sorry, I'm trying!” you wiped at the corners of your eyes.

"Just act like this is a normal hangout.." he had said after a short moment.

"We're literally on a date." you reminded him.

“right..”

The “date” didn’t last long, and the two of you ended up at his house. eating popcorn on his couch and watching your favorite series of movies together.

Later that night, he asked, “so, what are we?”

“whatever you want us to be.” you answered with flushed cheeks.

“I like you..” he whispered, eyes never leaving the TV screen acroos the couch, "more than friends should like one another."

“Great, ‘cause I'd be sad if you didn’t like me back.” you whispered back, never daring to glance his way even for a split of a second.

“Wait, does that mean I won the bet?” Namjoon suddenly spoke, making Jimin kick him lightly on the shoulder from where he was still lying with a sour frown, and toss a few dollars he had grabbed from his wallet at the smiling man's extended palm.

“Did you two seriously make a bet on my relationship?” came a sharp question from Yoongi.

[castielsparkle]

I'm so jealous of your dad I got my mom into supernatural and obsessed with cas but she was soo confused when I even mentioned there being gay undertones. And she thinks dean's annoying 😕

/!!3?2$2; that is so crazy to me because . well. ok let me explain. my mom personally is evil and insane and when i was like 12 i would tell her about youtuber rpf and like. she is actively homophobic however she was a legit truther about youtube rpf ships which is. an entire thing. not an rpf guy btw need this to be known . not a fan. not about it whatsoever. actively disdain for it. Moving on. she still talks abt that stuff to this day. unprompted. despite being lgbtphobic love and light. MOVING ON. my dad literally like..... We did Not ask him to fucking do this . he started watching spn and anytime its on tv around him he starts going off about his gay dean truthing and how like. he doesnt subscribe to him being bi hes of the belief dean is a gay man. he also vibes with dean beinng a trans dude. he will make a comment about this at any opportunity . dean scene where hes like 'my boobs are real' cue my father unprompted immediately talking abt top surgery dean . hes insane. he says he is quote 'indifferent' abt trans dean headcanon. he says hes also quote 'indifferent' abt gay and bi dean however he 'sure does act gay with cas' which . is really fucking funny to me bc he put on a destiel compilation on youtube (?? did not fucking ask him to . i wanted to watch the 'deans gay thing' scene) and then it ended up being him critiquing fan compilations of deans behaviors and he even starts bringing up like . 'remember that time he looked at that guys ass in like the 50s' or whatever. like to prove there were better portrayals of dean being gay than in the destiel fan compilations on yourube. my god. he said yesterday separately to both me and my older brother about how he (my dad not dean) is like if gay was a gender and not a sexuality. not unpacking all that rn. but he said it to me when we were watching destiel compilation he put on and he had my older brother back him up abt how he said it earlier GSHJF. i dont remember whrte i was going w this. oh yeah. further context i am his only bio child ever . my older brother is found family we met like five years ago and he moved in w us at the end of last yr. bc dad offered. and before that he offered to move in my other bestie who i went to hs with who ive known for approx four years now and like . we are all trans guys btw. he offered to pay for our t if we set up ghe shit w insurance (this is happening rn i literally got my first t shot yday‼️) ANYWAYS.... all of this to say. my dad is always saying shit about jow destiel are gay or whatever. hes insane. no clue why. he insisted that like Yeah No its not even undertones is so blatant and overt that hes gay . he will say stuff like 'im not a fangirl i dont have headcanons' (insane sentence to hear btw) if u ask him directly abt it when were not watching spn bc it 'stays reserved for when were watching the show' but also like he will just. he. will say things. so much.

edit requests my dad has given me courtesy of my roomie from when they watch spn. in the car on the way to the store tonight he (my father) told me ANOTHWR idea he had which was when cas tried to speak to dean in lazrising and shatters all the glass and shit and hes like . quote. itd be a meme with the caption like 'autistic me not being able to control the volume of my voice.' which yeah. fire image idea. love it. he just says shit. hes always talking about how gay dean is and how detiel is real sorry i know this sounds like fucking down with cis bus and oppa homeless stylw and ahit i literally promise u im being so fucking for real. the first con i ever went to my dad took me and he dressed as naruto bc he doesnt 'kin' naruto but he says if he did kin it wouldbe naruto and pinkie pie . he also is obsessed w weird al. he knows rhat pinkie pie and weird al are married and have a child. he makes. interesting comments abt it when he talks abt how he would kin pinkie pie if he had to kin a my little pony. sorry this got way off the fucking rails. he also twitch streams twice a week. ive never watched sherlock but he did back in the day when it was popular. we also both watched doctor who together. sorry this got so divorced from ur ask anon my dad also got divorced he loves divorce. okay im so sorry im done now . also he says that sam is annoying sometimes

WDIT: SO FUCKING SORRY i forgot to add my dad said he quote 'kind of' would endorse this compilation . https://youtu.be/4McX1GUE3K8 he felt fairly positive about it.

[charkie-ee]

GRAAAAHHHHHHH!! dear grand master semifontos please pardon my absence the last few days have been INSANE hrhsjdhsjshsbhs (the highlight of the week was that i had blood work done and fainted 4 the first time. like ever. i never do that. like wth. i woke up and my first words were ‘damn it’ my brain has been so frazzly since then)

.

um. uhh. OBJECTION!!

oh. actually no, u right. i did leave the stove on. ahah. now my house is on fire. ah. well. erm.

funny police b4 GTA6 is crazy actually. i know nothing about the game but i think they should postpone the release to at least 2030. that’d be awesome. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

.

i confess, i can’t actually read our little back n forth posts in front of anyone— i always have to go to my little hideaway room because i laugh waaaaay too hard at these posts. its the highlight if my day. like. i called the funny police for your own good. you’re telling me i met the most hilarious individual who has a similar thought process AND the same interests?????? i hit the tumblr mutual lottery.

siigghhhhhh. ah yes, the tumblr mutual lottery has a price, and that is, your soul people think you’re talking with your s/o. maan. just let me be aroace and have a bestie in peace.

but anyway, ur a cool dude, and thank you for making the bisexual purgatory post, otherwise i might not have been here <33

.

i completely agree. i think they should rename it to ‘the dangly bits on grandma glasses.’

damn, the unskipable cutscene strikes again… forgot about that one. no matter how many cheatcodes you put in theres always ‘the one about the dangling string glasses thingy.’

.

oh! i think i have that same pair in black!! those were my most recent glasses. i know the unskipable cutscene kinda throws it off the table, but those would totally slay with some grandma danglies.

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(yeaa!! i actually didn’t know about hungarian currency! so i did some searching and then the conversions! [also along the way i got distracted by converting usd to literally every other currency. so uh. i probably could’ve made that post a lot earlier if i didn’t go down the rabbit hole. at least now i know that 1 usd equals around 363 forint!!])

aw damn!! 3 years with the same glasses and 1 1/2 of those years waiting to get a new prescription?? that sucks!! D-:

i love living in the modern age of medicine. but like. not to be political on main, but can we maybe? i dont know, not have to sell and arm and a leg for a new prescription/frame?

i wish i could project glasses. like. use my brainwaves to make super cool glasses with the right prescription so i can actually see without having to. well. yknow. spend as much as a nintendo switch every year.

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i’ll never live asking a random guy how much chicken costs down. i have peaked, and now? i am a falling slope

the unidentified charity will make you pay for not buying the meat products!!

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awwwhh!! i love this sm actually.

THE LITTLE BIRDS FACE LMAOOOO

little bird is so tired and done with this class

my mans is WRITING. he is SCRIBBLING. he is JOTTING that shit DOWN.

i love the new number ~~~

~~~ + ~~~ = ~~~~~~ (?)mayhaps??

believe it or not math is my worst subject and i probably wouldnt be taking down any notes. but this? this is SEMIFONTOS MATH 101. completely different and 15x more interesting.

@semifontos

GRAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (i crawl out of my grave but this time kill bill style)

IM STILL ALIVE!!! I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMI—

but it is done!!!! i did it!!!!! after years in training, various classes in alchemy, and many many engine failures!!!!!!! it is FINISHED!!!!!!!!!

behold, the SEMIFONTOS DESIGN:

im so so sorry that this took so long and might not be as high quality as my other art— but i hope you enjoy it!!

gonna be honest, a screw was loose on my glasses and my right lens fell out just as i started working on this again. so. if any lines look wonky you can file all complaints to my prescription glasses.

but, yea!! there it is!! i plan to start being more active! i swear! i just have a lot goin on rn!! may reblog/post some other things later. we’ll see how it goes. luv u pal & thanks 4 bein patient!!

[jackofsometrade]

endeavour being queer (and other commentary):

season 1, episode 1, “Girl”:

- pushes through the whole crowd to stand next to Jakes

- interaction with Debryn (Debryn telling him he can look because there’s no blood, suggesting he and Morse are close enough that he trusts Debryn to tell him something like that)

- checking out Derek like no ones business

- who the FUCK spits on their iron, Morse??? get a glass of water or something.

- Debryn subtly gives Morse somewhere other than the body to look

- going around the side of the building with Jakes 🤨🤨

- Jakes glaring Bright’s head off when Bright starts bullying Morse

- Jakes supporting Morse’s deductions 🤨

- imagine if season 1 Bright stfu.

- look, i know they’re speaking quietly so that girl can sleep, but goddam if Morse wasnt flirting

- i’ve never seen a man more uncomfortable than morse watching that girl beg for her child back

- “an immoral rendezvous?” bright stfu he can be married and be gay u dumbass

- jakes’ face when he said that shit 😧

- i’m so embarrassed for morse just putting this random ass guy in jail i literally wanna scream

- jakes coming to find him in the cells

- “made an arrest then?” 🤨🤨

- this gay ass priest is a liarrrr!!!!!!!!!!

- “something we have in common, i imagine?” 😏😏

- “you seem an unlikely policeman, if i may.” 😏

- why unlikely 🤨 wdym by that 🤨

- “something for you to think about on the way back to town.” 😏

- BRO WATCHED MORSE LEAVE W HIS GLASSES IN HIS MOUTH WTF WAS THAT

- these gay ass hoes

- “doctor debryn called. wants you to drop by the mortuary.”

- 🤨

- “do you feel alright? you’re not going to...”

- “no.”

- “i can get you a glass of water, if you’d like.”

- they know each other so well i’m—-

- “what did they tell you about me?”

- that ur batshit crazy and they were RIGHT

- “she’s beautiful, incredibly so.”

- doesn’t mean she’s not crazy

- “most of the lads have you off as a queer fish.” 🤨

- “have they?”

- WHY R U SURPRISED???

- have you met urself?

- i wanna smoke a pipe like thursday

- bro morse fr j ghosted strange like that how foul

- NO THE GAY PRIEST

- thursday is INSANE for j sneaking up on morse in a gay hookup spot like that

- his FINGERS ARE GONE

- “that’s frank’s scrawl. i’d know it a mile off.” 🤨🤨 no need for the little smile as u say it doc

- NOOOO THE GAY PRIEST

- i love jakes but he’s such a snitch on morse 😔 no need for all this hatred 😔

- morse there is no need to cry over being returned to general duties get it together

- thursday >>>

- morse’s interactions w women give me such an ick and not even in a “i think he’s gay” way but in a “he should never be allowed to speak to a woman” kinda way

- yes, i read the books so i know i’m right.

- oxford is so pretty i’m literally sick over it.

- no need to stare at jakes when he’s leaning over his desk, morse

- their bickering is literally-

- morse what is ur actual problem

- the first time i saw this i was obviously on morse’s side but watching it now i’m literally like... bro ur a MESS

- GO STRANGE!!!!

- jakes there is no need to lean over morse’s desk to get in his face like that JUST to make fun of him

- insanity.

- gay priest = confirmed by that little blond asshole

- strange is such a real one i wanna marry him

- “i’ve been an idiot.” OBVIOUSLY.

- i would go to church if i could go to church here

- “why wouldn’t he just come forward?” Bright you need to believe gay people are real NOW bc ur nick is CRAWLING w them

- the random old man covering for his son being the murderer is INSANE of the writers

- morse has no business being so smart

- also i’m allowed to hate him bc i AM him

- it’s insane to rly look at what was going on bc why was derek having monkford deliver the drugs in a gay hookup spot, why would his dad murder someone in a gay hookup spot, why would that old man murder a gay man for walking into a gay hookup spot

- he’s GAY????? he’s NOT going to come forward u psycho.

- justice for the gay people in this show i demand it

- morse and strange = besties for lyfe

- the THEME SONG DHMU

[oraganji]

IF ANYONE WANTS WRITING INSPO

ok here’s the thing. I’m way too lazy and unmotivated to write a whole series, I am in awe of anyone who can actually do that or has done it. But in the spirit of ✨ hypocrisy✨ , of course I love reading them, and thinking about ideas for some series that will never actually come to fruition. So, for all the ACOTAR writers out there, I have a way-too-long idea for an Azriel x reader that I want to read as a series, or even like a couple of snippets of writing. Here it is:

Ok, so our (preferably female bc it’s my request but I’m not trying to disclude people here it’s just my preference) MC (I like the name Kora/Cora, or Arya, whatever, but y’know, since I’m not writing this, it’s not exactly my decision to make, it could just be Y/N, that’s fine too). Anyways, she’s half-seraphim, from Cretea, and is the commander of the seraphim/Cretea army. Now, here’s where the pick your story begins. I was thinking that she could be Drakon’s sister or something, to make her a princess, even though she only acts like a commander (I love nicknames that have a meaning. So like if Azriel calls the reader angel, it’s because of her white seraphim wings, and if he calls her princess, it’s because she actually is one). So she can either be his sister, or just the commander. She was old enough to have fought in that big war that happened with Miryam and stuff about the humans or whatever. IMPORTANT PART OF THIS: MC has water and ice powers, but to a massive scale. Like she can raise ocean tides, create snow/hailstorms, all that good stuff. I was thinking she could be called a Tidemaker, like in the Grishaverse, but you could totally change around the name. That’s the base of her character. Other than what I described, free reign to whoever is crazy enough to read/write this.

So now, I think of this as a slight (major) rewrite. This takes place right after Feyre makes it back home from enemy Tamlin. So, Hybern’s armies attack Createa for some UnKnOwN reason. Maybe MC’s dad/parental figure dies in the battle, and MC is filled with grief and rage. MC fights against them until she’s bloody and battered, using the ocean and sky as her weapons. Cretea is utterly destroyed, and she tries flying to a safe place. She had met Rhysand, Cassian, and our boy Azriel before during that Great War, because she was a commander, and the Night Court was allied with Cretea at the time. She remembers this, and tries to fly all the way to Velaris. She just makes it before collapsing/passing out, and Azriel’s shadows bring him to her.

Now, our boy is shocked because he actually used to have a little crush on MC the war so many decades ago. He sees her about to die and starts to ✨ panic✨ , obviously. So, I’m thinking he tells his shadows to find Madja, and busts into the House of Wind or something, and like alerts everyone by just saying “it’s Kora/Arya/MC”. So blah blah blah, cute Azriel taking care of MC moments, she tells them what she remembers about being attacked, etc. ALSO, i think it would be SO GREAT if Cassian and Rhysand called her Goose, instead of dove, or one of those other cheesy nicknames. Geese still have white wings, so it kinda fits. I just think it would be kinda funny if the first time they were meeting to discuss war strategy, MC showed off all of her powers, and established herself as a powerful, bad b****h, and these idiots call her a goose. AnYwAyS, time skip to the meeting with the high lords cause I don’t think things through. MC comes in later than our night court buddies because she “likes to make an entrance”, and walks in there with like a crown of gold laurels (i like that as a crown idea), and like a sage green dress or something (GREEN AND GOLD IS SO PRETTY), and is all like “hello ladies! and boys. What did I miss?” after not being there for like 200 years. Everyone is shocked, and she has a little spat with Beron, where she’s like “You’re just itching to play, huh Beron? Well, I’ll warn you, fire doesn’t tend to thrive with someone like me *smirk*.” I’M DYING. And meanwhile Azriel’s *mini* crush is slowly developing even more. So after that idc what happens, BUT. I think it would be great if Cassian made MC a general or something to help him out in the war with Hybern. Then, when she goes to leave after the war, to rebuild Cretea, and Rhys and Cass ask her to stay, she give a condition, which is that she wants to train the Illyrian girls. And she would leave after she feels like that initiative is set in place. So once she sees that females are being trained, she leaves. Later, Cass invites her for winter solstice very last minute, so she comes with one gift, for our special somene, AZZY BOY!. And it’s a moonflower in an ice sphere, cause headcannon: Azriel likes moonflowers, and so does MC. One day they were walking together or flying together, and she saw some, and pointed them out. Then Azriel plucked one and TUCKED IT IN HER HAIR OMG GET ME SOMEONE LIKE AZRIEL. And he’s like amazed that she remembered and saved the flower. Crush level rising. But at the same time, Elain seems interested in him, which MC can see, and thinks that Az likes Elain, so she goes back to Cretea cause she a little bit jelly.

I’m not a romance writer, so I was just thinking that once Cretea is close to rebuilt, MC invites everyone to come visit, and is taking a stroll with Azriel. She sees moonflowers again, and this time she plucks one and puts it in his hair, and goes “Damn. I bet I didn’t look this good when that thing was in my hair.” And then Azriel mutters under his breath, “you did. you looked ethereal. like an angel.” but MC kinda hears a little bit of it, so she gives Azriel a little kiss on his jaw, cause she can’t reach his cheek (THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE I’M SCREAMING) and says “I heard that Az. I think you look ethereal too.” He’s one blushy boy after this. omg why am I like this. But, plot twist, Elain saw this whole interaction go down and gets PISSED. Meanwhile, MC drags Azriel around, while he trails behind her like an awestruck puppy. She finds a starfruit tree (which I’m making native to Cretea, like it’s a rare thing elsewhere) and gets some seeds from them from Elain, saying that it would be good for her garden. And Azriel just thinks about how thoughtful she is, even to people she doesn’t necessarily like. They get back, and Elain is complaining about how Azriel chose MC over her to Nesta , who I think would be besties with MC. MC walks into the room and hears. Elain realizes this and tries to insult/yell at MC. But MC just had a sad smile and goes, “I brought you some starfruit seeds, Elain. They’re only native to Cretea, and I thought it might be good for your garden. Good night Elain.” OK so this is why I think it would be good if MC was Drakon’s sister and a princess. She knows she’s a princess, but she really only considers herself to be a commander. She’s debating going back to Cretea, or staying, and she tells Azriel that she’s prob gonna leave soon. And our bat boy is all ✨ panik✨  when he hears this. He says “But I wa - everyone wants you to stay”. MC smirks and goes “what were going to say Az. They’re like really close together now, so Az leans down and gives her a gentle kiss and goes, “I want you stay”. MC is stunned for a moment, and looking dazed, goes “well then I guess I’m staying.”AHHHHHHHHH. She can prob be a general under Cass.

OK SO I DO HAVE AN IDEA FOR MORE WITH OUR ANGEL AND DEVIL. Where they discover the mating bond, there’s a big threat on Cretea, MC is a bad b***h as always, and protective Azriel makes several appearences.

Y’all can make up some situations after this as well, or if you want, which I don’t know why you would, my disorganized mess of a brain can write more about the thing above.

OMG THIS WAS WAY TOO LONG. Plz tell me if u guys liked this, or are actually gonna write this crap. And let me know is you have questions! Have a nice day lovelies!

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

songs that make me think of vampy and why

this is for drea and leyla ONLY thank u

daylight- taylor swift "i don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you" bc vampy loves her so much he only wants her 😔 midnight love- girl in red "I know I'm the last one you try to call but I always give in to give you it all" "your silver is my gold" bc miss chiropractor treated him terribly but he loved her with everything and would have gone back to her no matter what watch you sleep- girl in red this one is obvious: bc vampy watches bloodbag sleep :) also "the scar on your spine, you fell off a roof when you were nine" is all appreciating the tiny details about someone and that is definitely something vampy would do :( paper rings: taylor swift "i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this" line without a hook- ricky montgomery "oh baby i am a wreck when i'm without you" bc vampy loves bloodbag so much he just wants to be with her always 😔 dead girl in the pool- girl in red this one is kinda weird but i feel like bloodbag is gonna die at some point and then vampy will just be like "theres a dead girl in the pool (or wherever her corpse is laying slfjskldfjkldsj) i don't know what to do" and then he's gonna make this face

bad habits- ed sheeran bc he was just slutting around before he met bloodbag demons- imagine dragons dont make fun of me for this I KNOW but fr it's vampy renegade- taylor swift "you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody" he needs bloodbag 😔 starting line- luke hemmings i can't really explain this one but it's like how you always talk about how his happiness is overshadowed by the fact that he's a monster or whatever million dollar bills - lorde "theres nothing i want but money and time" and vampy has literally all the money and time :) solar power- lorde this is harrys hot girl anthem idk happiness- taylor swift "there'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you" this is him reminiscing on miss chiropractor i wanna get better-bleachers "i didn't know i was lonely til i saw your face" "I didn't know i was broken til i wanted to change" come on 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 good 4 u - olivia rodrigo this is his fuck u song for miss chiropractor my tears ricochet- taylor swift "if i'm dead to you why are you at the wake" it's ironic innit 😌 what a feeling- one direction "what a feeling to be right here beside you now, holding you in my arms" please 😔 "everybody needs someone around" 😔😔😔 "but i can't hold you too close now" bc he has severe attachment and commitment issues :) all you had to do was stay- taylor swift "had me in the palm of your hand, then, why'd you have to go and lock me out when i let you in" omg miss chiropractor really hurt him 😔 king of my heart- taylor swift "and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for" bloodbag @ vampy 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 cruel summer- taylor swift "I love you ain't that the worst thing you ever heard" bc he knows getting close to bloodbag will ultimately only lead to pain for everyone involved "i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" bc he can't tell bloodbag everything about him even tho he probably wants to :( thank u next- arianna grande this is weird BUT if miss chiropractor hadn't fucked him up so much he never would have met bloodbag tear in my heart- 21 pilots again don't make fun of me for this I HAVE AN EXPLANATION "you fell asleep in my car i drove the whole time but that's okay i'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine" if bloodbag fell asleep in his car he would definitely do this :( shape of you-ed sheeran "now my bedsheets smell like you" his room probably smells like honey and lavender all the time now and he's probably foaming at the mouth constantly cowboy in LA "let's skip the club, lets skip the crowd, i wanna take you on a date" bc they both hate clubs!!!!! "I'll hold your hand I'll hold the door bc that's how i was raised" he's a gentleman 😔😔😔😔 & burn- billie eilish "i'll sit and watch your car burn with the fire that you started in me, but you never came back to ask it out" idk for some reason this has vampy and miss chiropractor vibes take me to church- hozier religious trauma babes 🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼 speechless- dan+shay "i'm speechless, staring at you standing there in that dress" love 😔 yours- russel dickerson "i came to life when i first kissed you, the best me has his arms around you, you make me better than i was before, thank god i'm yours" SCREAMING AND CRYING AND SHAKING tolerate it- taylor swift "i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" MISS ******** DIDN"T APPRECIATE OR CELEBRATE HIS LOVE MIA- anarbor "thinking about my life and everything i did wrong along the way"😔 lay low- josh turner for when bloodbag and vampy go to a cabin in the woods for a week and just love each other 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 who can save me now- anarbor "you stabbed me in the back" this one is pretty literal LSKFJLKSJFLKDSJ "you could have at least been kind enough to let me turn around" ouch 😔 dopamine- anarbor "i'm hooked on your dopamine" vampy and bloodbag ugh lie to me- 5sos this give me vampy and ******** vibes "i wish we never met, cause you're too hard to forget" "while i'm cleaning up your mess i know he's taking

off your dress" bc she probably cheated on him while they were together 😔 and he would have stayed with her if she told him she loved him, even if he knew it was a lie 😔 cotton candy- yungblud it's just a happy song with good vibes like bloodbag and vampy currently have :) small talk- niall horan i don't even have to say anything here pillowtalk- zayn "so we'll piss off the neighbors" chappy 9 vibes dancing with our hands tied- taylor swift "i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us" vampy rn 😔 once in a lifetime- one direction vampy will live a million lifetimes but he will only ever have one bloodbag 😔 holy ground- taylor swift "tonight i'm gonna dance for all that we've been through but I don't wanna dance if i'm not dancing with you" they've come so far omg 😔 since we're alone- niall horan "you can show me your heart, if you put it all in my hands no i swear no i won't break it apart" crying if i could fly- one direction "for your eyes only i'll show you my heart" rollercoaster- bleachers again i can't explain it but it makes me think of him 😔 so long- niall horan "so if we knew all along why did it take so long" good question bestie current location- LANY "i need your current location to be my current location" they're idiots in love and want to be together all the time 😔 why dont we go there- one direction "hey i don't want you to be the one that got away i wanna get addicted to you you're rushing through my mind i wanna feel the high i wanna be addicted" well hes already addicted to her blood so might as well like you lots- LANY bc they both have issues and can't say love lmao too much to ask- niall horan vampy though wanting love was too much to ask of miss chiropractor 😔 walking in the wind- one direction this one just has his vibes man 😔 heartbeat- carrie underwood "dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat" bc vampy is obsessed with listening to bloodbag's heart (fan behavior if you ask me) idfc- blackbear this is vampy and ******** bc "tell me that you love me even if it's fake" city of angels- 24kgoldn "i sold my soul to the devil for designer" yes this made me laugh the woods- olivver the kid "waking up in the middle of the woods" "don't you wanna get out of here, out of the woods" flashback to when he was dead in the woods oop "you brought me down to the river, and you pushed me in, hoping that the white rapids would challenge my ability to swim" bc... she's a murderer omg this verse is talking about leaves and i'm freaking out it fits 100% this is crazy "You pick up two handfuls You tell me they're all dried up & dead You know that's nothing like us We'll live forever instead" just a little bit of your heart- ariana grande vampy bc he loves so deeply and completely that he will give all of himself to someone even if they won't do the same my strange addiction- billie eilish bc he is addicted to her blood :) cross your mind- niall horan this is vampy and ******** "love the way you hurt me and it doesn't even cross your mind" "leaving me in pieces (literally lmao) but i swear it's worth it every time" everywhere- niall horan that scene where vampy smelled some perfume or soap or something and it made him think of bloodbag 😔 everything makes him think of her now 😔 "swear it's hard to think it's hard to breathe when you're in the air" put a little love on me- niall horan "you're the only one i need" 😔 bend the rules- niall horan VAMPY AND ******** ALL THE WAY "i'm not saying that you're lying but you're leaving out the truth" heartbreak weather- niall horan "all of my life i've been sleepwalk living, running around the same bars i've been in, it can be so lonely in this city, but it feels different when you're with me" bloodbag and vampy 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 mr loverman- ricky montgomery "i miss my lover man" vampy is probably dramatic like this all the time now that they're official 😔 bad blood- taylor swift again, just for the irony 😌 vapor- 5sos "i want to breathe you in like a vapor i want to be the one you remember i want to feel

your love like the weather all over me" they're so in love like this 😔 catch fire- 5sos "all my life i've been waiting for moments to come" he's been waiting for bloodbag his entire life 😔 beside you-5sos "i wish i was beside you" they want to be together all the time 😔 black and white- niall horan "that first night i was standing at your door fumbling for your keys then i kissed you" ARE YOU KIDDING ME not in the same way- 5sos this is vampy and ******** just bc they were so toxic lkfjskldfjsdlkjf lonely heart-5sos "and i haven't slept in days" lmao ghost of you-5sos "my feet dont dance like they did with you" thinking about when vampy danced for bloodbag and what if they break up 👁️👁️ why wont you love me- 5sos vampy at ******** 😔 he just wanted to be loved 😔😔😔😔😔 fool's gold- one direction "i let you use me from the day that we first met" "i know your love's not real, but that's not the way it feels" STOP IM SAD last first kiss- one direction "let me be your last first kiss" i want them to be together forever 😔 truly madly deeply- one direction "foolishly completely falling and somehow you kicked all my walls in" bloodbag really snuck into his heart huh 😔 fireproof -one direction "nobody saves me baby the way you do" ugh 😔 long story short-taylor swift "clung to the nearest lips long story short it was the wrong guy" (or in vampy's case the wrong vampire) gold rush-taylor swift "and the coastal town we run around has never seen a love as pure as it" bloodbag and vampy are all i want 😔 no judgement- niall horan bc vampy would never judge bloodbag 😔 daddy issues- the neighborhood again im not even gonna say anything here new angel- niall horan "the touch of someone else to save me from myself" this is vampy 😔 god is a woman- ariana grande vampy after he brought bloodbag home the first time something like this- the chainsmokers "just something i can turn to, somebody i can kiss" ALL VAMPY WANTS IS LOVE sweater weather- the neighborhood idk this song makes me think of him all of me- john legend "all of me loves all of you all your curves and all your edges all your perfect imperfections" KSFLKSDJFKLDJSFLJSDKLFJDSKL i like me better- lauv "i like me better when i'm with you" she makes him a better person 😔 sex- eden "oh no, i think i'm catching feelings" vampy when bloodbag went on a date with someone else half a heart- one direction bc bloodbag completes him 😔 theyre so disgusting 😔 only angel- harry styles "turns out she's a devil in between the sheets" woman- harry styles vampy when she was on a date with someone else bc hes a jealous moron temporary fix- one direction this has chappy 1-2 vibes a.m.-one direction when they first started falling in love and he wanted to be with her more often 😔 something great- one direction "i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i don't have to keep imagining" through the dark- one direction just all of this song 😔 happily- one direction "you know i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep i just want it to be you and i forever" 😔 electric love- borns "i can't let you go now that i got it" canyon moon- harry styles they're just happy like this rn 😔 sunflower vol. 6- harry styles "kiss in the kitchen like it's a dancefloor" "mouth full of toothpaste" when they brushed their teeth together 😔 adore you- harry styles obviously

[ofaylin]

⌠ BAHAR SAHIN, 19 CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, AYLIN KALELI! according to their records, they’re a SECOND year, specializing in LINGUISTICS, CULTURE, & ASSIMILATION; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (hair pulled back with a chanel ribbon, lycra boots with razor blades in the heel, champagne and french macarons in a bubble bath, wiping your tears with a $100 bill). when it’s the (leo)’s birthday on 8/3/00 they always request their FRENCH FRIES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

hi, hello, i’ve been sitting on this idea for a while and i was going to wait until june but with all these new characters i just got too excited ?! so, fuck it, i’m here now, i can’t help myself. for plots, feel free to message me here on tumblr or hmu on discord @ #kati7600, but check out her intro below the cut ! // ty @gallagherintro​

INSPIRATION.

bex baxter – gallagher girls

carmen cortez – spy kids

blair waldorf – gossip girl

cher horowitz – clueless

torrance shipman – bring it on

jackie burkhart – that 70s show

BACKGROUND.

both of her parents work for the national intelligence organization of turkey, they’re big shots and they make a lot of money! she has two older sisters and she’s born into a world of wealth and expectations. it won’t take her long to learn more languages than years she has lived, and waking up early to run drills and do obstacle courses with her sisters is routine.

picture perfect on the outside, the household within goes through turmoil. her mother is promoted to the director of the NIO and it puts a strain on her parent’s relationship. her father starts taking more business trips, and aylin and her sisters spend nights sitting on the top of the stairs, listening in on phone conversations. aylin’s the youngest, so she doesn’t really understand what’s going on and needs to have it broken down. 

aylin had always LOVED her parent’s love story – they met on a mission and they were partners for years, it’s all very romantic. so the divorce leaves her confused. how could you stop loving someone? how could you just give up?

both of her parents are an active part of her life, the divorce is...fairly amicable and they share custody. the only thing aylin doesn’t like is her father’s new girlfriend, young and totally uninvolved in the world of espionage. the girl could be her sister. aylin spends her time split between two houses, half-belonging to each, but her parents feel GUILTY so aylin quickly learns how to use that guilt to get what she wants, whether it’s freedom or material goods. 

she’s a little spoiled, but it doesn’t satisfy her. nothing really does, it just makes her feel sort of empty, so she works harder, filling time with books and training with her older sisters who tell her cool stories from their spy prep schools and teach aylin things they’ve learned when they come home for breaks. aylin long for the day when she’s not splitting your time between other people’s homes and she’s in a place that she can really call her own.

she goes to the same spy prep school that her older sisters did in london. she’s competitive from the get-go because she’s a kelali and people already expect things from her to begin with. she smiles when people call her by her sister’s name or mention her mother, but inside she’s seething, eager to prove that she’s good because she works hard, not because she’s someone’s sister or daughter.

it’d be a lie to say that aylin didn’t step on a few toes, and the way she skyrocket to valedictorian is a little less than savory – she reports her competition for illicit activities, and...perhaps she planted something in their locker idk!!! 

she has her pick of spy prep colleges across the nation, but her mom really encourages her to choose gallagher. why? that’s weird, her mom never went there and neither does the rest of her family! but aylin really likes the idea of a place that’s all hers and she’s always wanted to see america, so she chooses it. she’s a bit smug about being ahead of others because she’s been reading books on espionage since age 4, and if you don’t know sixteen languages, stay out of her way. 

PERSONALITY:

PROUD. aylin is a very proud person, she grew up in an affluent household with important parents. when faced with a challenge, it’s her pride that tends to motivate her to be the best because she feels like she has something to prove, and she’ll turn her nose up at you until she gets it. this also makes her stubborn.

INTELLIGENT. aylin was raised in an environment where she was being trained since her childhood, knowing about espionage since she could speak, but she also has an iq of 122, so not quite genius level but she’s getting there. she’s the head cheerleader type that you’d be surprised is actually really good at math.

HARD-WORKING. queen of taking on too many extracurriculars at all times! honestly she tends to overexert herself until she burns out, but she wants it all – the exciting social life, the straight As, the meaningful connections, the parties, when does she sleep? maybe never.

SNOBBISH. honestly, she doesn’t mean to come off as a snob but she definitely does because she hasn’t really known anything other than crystal dishware and fancy clothes. she doesn’t even comprehend that other people don’t come from the same place of privilege that she has.

FUN-LOVING. the girl you want to party with! just because she’s a good student, she wouldn’t want you to think that she doesn’t know how to have a good time. aylin operates in extremes, so she parties just as hard as she studies and has a tendency to get carried away, but let it be known that she’s doing this for herself and not for anyone else’s attention.

MANIPULATIVE. aylin will step on toes to get what she wants, and she’s not scared to fight dirty. she tends to stay in the lines of what’s legal of course, but if she sees a window into getting what she wants, she’ll say what she needs to in order to get it. honestly, she can be a bit callous with the way she uses people and doesn’t always understand the effects of her actions. she would tell you that the ends justify the means. yikes.

INDEPENDENT. doesn’t need you or anyone else and wants you to know it. her confidence is genuine and real, and she doesn’t attribute any of her accomplishments to her family name – she’s not insecure about it, she knows that she’s good at what she does.  

HEADCANONS.

started school early, so she’s a bit young for her grade by a year. she sees this as a positive thing and will brag to you about how she’s younger AND smarter. annoying.

acts like she really likes healthy food and eats a salad in public ( will tell you that’s her favorite food ) but she’s weak for things that are greasy and fried and will be pigging out in secret. her favorite food is french fries but you probably wouldn’t guess that about her ! 

languages she knows: english, french, turkish, arabic, german, kurmanji, italian, dutch, spanish, mandarin, japanese, latin, hindustani, malay, russian, bengali. some are better than others and some she reads more than she can really speak. 

taught herself to skateboard since coming to america since it seemed like the thing to do based on watching american films. she will ride her little penny board in high heels and loves it ! and you thought i couldn’t make her more annoying !

tons of expensive lingerie but u can look but don’t touch. 

bisexual but still not interested in you. 

leo with a virgo rising and cancer moon. i am so SORRY ! 

WANTED CONNECTIONS. 

SERENA TO HER BLAIR. literally her best friend ever, but they probably have a sort of on-off friendship because they’re strong personalities and get in each other’s business. however, when it comes down to it, they’ll always put the other first and they love each other immensely, would kill a man for the other. but they’re also pretty competitive too. 

GIRL SQUAD. i just want her to have a couple close girl friends that are all close...you know. i would love if one of them was more subdued and totally chill about everything, maybe a wallflower type, and then another that’s kind of nerdy ? but also cool, you know. i’m just dreaming. 

EX/BESTIE. aylin and this person used to date like forever ago, but mutually decided that they made better friends than romantic partners. they care about each other a lot, and they probably make jokes about how they USED to date. a healthy ex connection basically !

ON/OFF THING. because for every healthy ex i also want something kind of toxic. essentially it’s not good for either of them and they just keep going back to each other because, well, it’s a place of comfort or whatever. they drive each other fucking crazy though and no one can keep up with whether they hate each other’s guts today or if they’re all heart eyes.

SWORN ENEMY. but for a justified reason, like aylin probably screwed them over for something academic or even in a campus club or something. if your character went to a spy prep school, maybe they’re the person that aylin screwed out of the valedictorian role ? might submit a WC for that cause. fun.  

PROJECT. like my fair lady, be aylin’s eliza doolittle, let her she’s the man you, whatever. essentially, your character might by shy, nervous, or new to the spy world and aylin wants to give them a metaphoric ( or maybe even physical ! ) makeover and help them get acclimated, teach them the ways of the world. i’m also picturing that pic of the lesbians, u know what i mean. i can’t find it, but i google searched “girl doing the other girls makeup, gay” 

FORBIDDEN FRIENDSHIPS/LOVE. idk something totally not allowed. if this was sooner i’d want her ass to have a crush on a witness protection kid. however, her parents work for the turkish NIO, so perhaps your muse’s parents or family have been involved in something rivaling that so they’re not supposed to get along. 

MARRIED COUPLE FRIENDS. these are friends that are so close that they’re practically a married couple?? i’d love to do a platonic m/f thing with this, where they fight and get on to each other like they’re married but love each other like it too. lil grandparents of their friend group.

CRUSHER. someone who has a crush on her, probably because they’re fascinated with the idea of her and not her true problematic self. she’d probably be kinda rude to them and i’d love to plot this out long enough for that crush to turn to dislike once they recognize the selfish parts of her or notice she’s been making fun of them. maybe a flipped scenario.

ONE NIGHT STAND. maybe after a few too many drinks, they hooked up. something recent so we can make it super awkward and potentially funny. 

SET-UP. your character’s parents are close friend’s with aylin’s and they’re trying to set aylin up with your character. aylin and your character are NOT compatible at all and it’s hilarious. 

OVERSEAS. they met while they were both abroad together one summer, and they accidentally got into some trouble with international police maybe just for being too drunk on the streets or acting stupid, climbing stuff. aylin considers your character a liability and has avoided them since, disregarding the fun times they had.

RIVALS/ENEMIES WITH SEXUAL TENSION.

EXISTING CONNECTIONS.

NAZ FARHI. her cousin. the two of them don’t NOT get along...but aylin really thought she would come to a school and be the only one of her family members there and then naz showed up ! determined to make it clear that she’s the best. 

JO TRAN. rival/dislike. took one of the upper-level courses because she could and her attitude got on jo’s nerves because what doesn’t get on jo’s nerves. aylin’s just the epitome of everything that pisses jo off. 

KASSANDRA SUTTON. bad friend to. one of those friendships where one person takes more than they give, and it’s not ON PURPOSE, but kass is really just so easy to take advantage of, aylin’s ALWAYS running to her when she needs a favor. 

[its-3am-sadness]

getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

Monday February 11th,2013:

well..i hate myself. terribly. fucking. little. cunt. thats what i am. a fucking bitch. a pussy, more like a pair of balls.. pussy's are actually quite strong.. so im a pair of balls. GROSS!.. i like pussy better.. whatever. so anyway.. i hate how much of a bitch i am. im so mean to everyone. im not good enough for shawntay. i dont deserve jake and i feel like i treat both of them like shit.. i dont mean to. they're both my whole world..damn.. i couldnt live with out both of them.. i really couldnt.

Conversation on Saturday Night:

me: how isn't it? if you go then you wont have to worry about me.

Jake: ill worry more

me:no

Jake: yeah i will

Me:no

Jake: why cant i?

me: Because..you just cant. you shouldnt. its not worth it.Never. You should leave before you get hurt.

Jake: this isnt about right now anymore is it?

me: i guess not..

Jake: cause ive told you before im not leaving unless you stop loving me ima be here for you until you dont want me to and ima be with you till you break up with me, i love you and im gonna stay through thick and thin. you wont hurt me. You wont.

Baby i friken love you and i wanna be with you no matter what im yous i dont want anyone else but you and im gonna stay okay?

Me: i hurt everyone. i want to be with you. i am in love with you. but i am so hard and difficult. i push every single person away because i just tear people down. i dont want to do that. You are so amazing and that cant die.

how can i call that mine? that is a way to good for me kindda guy.. ive fallen in love with him. but he is way to good for me.

Tuesday February 12, 2013:

i almost cut last night.. i lost it and i started crying terribly. my mother is such a damn bitch. i cant handle her anymore.. she's having surgary on the 25th of this month.. but shes forcing me to appologise for being 'rude' to my brothers wife.. fuck that.. she told me i didnt appriciate anyone.. you dont tell someone who hates themself, who seriously cant stand to look at herself or hear herself, you DONT TELL THEM THAT THEYRE NOT FUCKING APPRICATIVE! what the hell.. so i have anger issues so i flipped out, not to her, just annonmusly over facebook & shes not even my friend on there so fuck her. seriously. and my mother is sticking up for HER, an not ME. bitch.. i have enough shit i dont need to deal with this, its from over a month ago.. i hate my mother.. she fucking came running downstairs screaming at me for taking something that i really didnt.. i didnt even know what she was talking about.. why... im always to blame. FUCK HER! god... she makes me want to kill myself. she thinks that i look up to her and that she's this perfect little angel and does everything for me.. but all she does is make me feel like shit.. i mean we have our moments that we get along an laugh an are friends. when we're friends we're totally fine, but than she turns in to over protective bitch mode.. i hate itt.. i dont wanna stay after school to get extra help.. and shes fucking making me. i hate it. i hate her. i want to get the fuck away. HELP ME! i need to be saved.

Wednesday February 13th, 2013:

theres not a lot of time to write here today...i only got about 3 minutes.. but damn.. i wanna die.. im not going to stopo myself tonight if i wanna cut. i gotta do it.. its to hard. my parents and my one brother are douches..they fucking dont know when to stop making me feel like shit.. i hate it. goddamn.. i cried so much last night.. i wish i were alone.. it'd be easier not to worry about hurting someone.. i hate myself. im absolutly disguesting. fat, ugly and just so gross.. i hate what ive become.. i cant stop myself. it's who i am now..

my razors fell out of my case this morning, it was scary i thought that someone was going to ask me what they were when i bent to pick them up.. i was so shakey.. i hate myself. ughhh. fuck. i hate everyone, my self the absolute most though.. good bye..

Thursday Febraury 14th, 2013:

well.. i stopped the 21 days last night.. 16.. 2 on my thigh, they're small. and the rest between my two arms. im such a fail..

Jake did the cutest thing ever.. he put a bunch of choclate kisses in my locker & taped it saying 'i <3 u' i keep blushing today.. i just told someone i like they're hat & he said he liked my face, i blush to much, i dont like him even, but it was kindda a compliment, soo.. *sigh* i hope shawntay doesnt get mad at me.. i told her i cut in our notebook, i havent told jake & im nott gunna unless he asks.. i cant tell him.. i HATE THAT THEY CARE!!!!!!!!! ugh... i just hurt eveyrone.. i make everyone want to kill themselves.......... FUCK.

ive been handing outt 'my little pony' valentines today.. only 4 gurls, and like 15 or more guys.. the girls are Shawntay, my friend Kenzie, Tabby & Heather. God.. all of them are so FUCKING gorgeous..ugh.. i seriously wish i could be even half as pretty as them.. Shawntay, everything about her is perfect, i wouldnt change a thing. Perfect long hair, flawless skin, perfect body.. McKenzie, she's in love, happy, so beautiful. Tabby, SO gorgeous, i find her easy to talk to and i think we could be pretty good friends. i love her hair.. i want it terribly. and Heather, her makeup, my lord is it always so damn perfect. no flaws to it, always perfect all the damn day long. She may be a bitch sometimes, but she's also hillarious as fuck. i could see me an her being better friends then we are, but not anything long-best friend. but damn.. i wish i were them..

Friday February 15th, 2013:

last night i broke down terribly and cried for hours.. i could stop. my douche fuck parents.. goddamn.. i wish i could just love them and call it good. but my mom comes down and bitches about facebook.. so now i have to delete it.. god. she controls every damn thing of my life.. she doesnt even know what tumblr is or instagram & she fucking wants me to delete them. HELL TO THE FUCK NO! dumbass. i hate her.. she ruins my life..

Tuesday February 19th, 2013:

okay..well this is reallly really stupid.. but on friday, i realized that with my ex boyfriend, he fucked her while we were together & i had sex with him countless times after.. so now i obviously did something wrong. it showed me how worthless i am & how much i seriously fuck people up..it's all my fault. i loved him wrong. i treated him like shit and look where that's gotten me.. im such a pathetic fucking fail of life. i hate myself.. im used and worthless. im the damn slut of the fucking family for fuck's sake!! my oldest brother just got married & the other just got engaged.. ugh..

ive been starving myself latley too.. it's kinda hard because i love eating, but ive been not eating lunch for about a week & i rarley eat at home soo..

[polyjuice-ships]

Hey! I'm Macy I'm straight and will be okay with any era. I'm a Hufflepuff, pukwudgie, dapple grey mare patronus, and an applewood unicorn core 10 3/4 slightly swishy wand. I'm an ENFP-t and idk what series you've seen but I identify a lot with the tenth and eleventh doctor and Aang from avatar the last airbender. I'm very kind and optimistic and I would definitely consider myself a tad of a smarty pants especially when it comes to science. I hate conventional things and (1/2)Am I guess I would describe it as 'out there'. I'm also extremely humorous and one of the most important things in life is being able laugh about it. I'm extremely curious and love learning, and sometimes my experiments(stunts?) are a tad stupid. I also mostly fear being alone and I hate feel isolated and/or lonely. Some days I also just feel really awful(physical illness) so I live to have someone to lay down and chill with. I'm in general a curious creative loving ball of happy energy.(2/2) crazy-space-dust <3

Hello Macy!!! You sound so sweet <333 I relate with you a lot !!! Being able to laugh at life is so important and being able to do that and make people laugh is one of my biggest motivations!  Don’t you just love the feeling of making someone laugh!!!!!!!!! I would also like to describe myself as a curious creative loving ball of happy energy!!! Sorry for responding so late. I hope you’re still active and will see this!!!! im also hufflepuff and pukwudgie too !!!!!! let’s be besties  ,, did i mention the 11th doctor is my fav and i <3 aang!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways,,,,,

I ship you with Fred Weasley. (Maybe because I’m secretly in love with him would ship myself with him and since we’re so similar and all ,,,.,.,.,.,.,.....but uhhh that’s not the point.)

Fred himself is also a big ball of cute happy loving puppy-dog energy! 

You guys met when he was trying to prank someone at Honeydukes on a trip to Hogsmeade.  He was expecting a bothersome Slytherin prefect to walk out of the door, which would cause him to be drenched in syrup.  However, as you may be able to guess, it ended up being you.  Fred apologized profusely.  He obviously wouldn’t have felt remorse if it hit the right target, but you hadn’t done anything to wrong him, so he felt pretty bad.  

He was expecting you to be seething, and was fully ready for you to yell at him, or maybe even tell the head of your house and get points deducted from Gryffindor just out of spite.  But you really caught his eye when you found the situation funny.  I mean, this isn’t something that happens every day so why not appreciate it!  It was inconvenient, but hey who doesn’t like syrup!  You and Fred shared a laugh and you went to the Hufflepuff common room together and he helped you clean up a little.  There was a trail of syrup around all of Hogwarts for a few days though.

You dating Fred would include:

- hanging out with each other and laughing so hard that no sound comes out and both of you are crying and red in the face. not to mention your abdomens are very sore!!

- the sweetest cuddles.  Fred is a big boy and the perfect big spoon! Burying your face into his chest is also very comfortable

- George is like a brother to you! The three of you (being you Fred and George) are pretty iconic,, and it doesn’t feel like George is third wheeling!  George is almost always with Fred, but you do get your alone time once in a while

- Fred often asks for help with Herbology assignments, and you are very happy to help since it is a topic you are passionate an excited to learn about!  

- Fred loovees the Hufflepuff common room! Not only is it by the kitchens,,, but the calming atmosphere reminds him of the Burrow.

- Fred sweaters, that fit him normally, fit you in the most perfect oversized way

- Fred often consults you for help with pranks, and creations+inventions for Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.  Him and George always have each other to bounce ideas off of, but a fresh perspective is always useful! and you always seem to have that something that neither of them would think of on their own!

- a lot of people think that Fred is just a prankster without a serious bone in his body, but you love him for that reason!  you appreciate that he doesn’t take life too seriously. but you do appreciate the moments when he’s tender and sweet

- in essence,, you two vibe very well with each other!!!! 

i thought this gif was very sillie i hope u like it! also if u see this could you send me a message back to confirm that u saw it! i just want to make sure i wasnt too late ;(

[infatuatedpup]

Update on Eva.

I visited him . It was pretty ok 6/10

Highlights were:

I met his mom WHO WAS SUPER SWEET AND SAID I SHOULd VISIT AGAIN💕

I met his dog who also a big sweetheart 💕

His step dad was pretty nice and I briefly met his younger brother

He was really nice and bought me food and even offered to buy me a hair clip that I wanted ( I didn’t let him bc I felt bad)

He would pick me up and knock at my door instead of Just telling me to come out

HE OPENED DOORS FOR ME 💕💕💕 ( Ik it’s not anything big but I think that’s such a nice small gesture )

He complimented me on my make up

He listened to me talk which was nice and I apologized everytime id just keep talking but he said he didn’t mind

He let me play my music occasionally lol

He told me that his mom really liked me

Now for that bad stuff :/

I was so nervous to be affectionate bc he said he doesn’t like it really so I was SUPER hesitant

Because I talk SO much I felt super bad and constantly apologize:(

I felt so annoying , I also just felt like I was too much for him

I would get nervous when things got super quiet and I’d end up over sharing or saying stupid shit I asked if I made him uncomfortable and he said no and it’s ok

I had an anxiety attack due to not being able to sleep and anxiety:/ ( it wasn’t infront of him THSNK GOD)

He made me a little uncomfortable with the silences :( but I won��t tell him that

Now for things that were like funny / I will remember

My flight got canceled and rescheduled for the next day so I had no where to stay and his mom offered I stay there 🥺🥺🥺 ( this goes with her also saying if I visit again I could stay with them)

She also said it was nice to meet me and I’m always welcomed and I told her : “ oh I’m just terrorizing him right now I’m sure he’s ready for me to leave” and she said “don’t worry I’m pretty sure he’s loving it “ in my mind when she said that I think ‘omg he’s talked about me before’

He also told his mom about in the sense I’m from CA and I work at an animal shelter

I started a Twitter fight with him bc it started with me subtweeting him , then it just became a playful fight lol

We played Mario cart and who ever won’t 2/3 got to tweet something on the other persons Twitter

Sadly he won and said some stupid shit that sounded like something I’d say lol

We hung out in his room for most of the day and I dead ass told him “ I’m just waiting for u to kick me out of ur room “ bc I felt bad and didn’t want to leave him alone but wanted him to set a boundary

I bit him once and he deserved it he didn’t like it but I told him from the start “‘I am fucking crazy but I am free

I GOT COMPLEMENTS FROM LIKE 4 people ( a girl at Waffle House , a little girl at the mall some other girl and a hot topic worker who I eventually switched socials with !

Lots of nice people out there at least from the people I met

I wish I wasn’t a coward and told him how I felt but maybe that was for the best bc I don’t want to ruin the friendship . I told my friends how my flight got canceled and they said it was a sign from God to confess and I’m like nooo I’ll get rejected and CRY .

I really wanted to kiss his cheek when he dropped me off but I was so nervous and didn’t want to fuck up anything … I told him I’ll be a lil distant bc I’m not feeling ok and he’s like “ what’s bothering you” and I’m my mind I’m screaming’UH YOU YOURE MSKING ME NERVOUS’ but I just said idk

I really was gonna ghost him but he’s lucky I really like his family and I don’t want his mom to hate me

I also wans gona send him this long ass confesión but I decided against it because I was not thinking clearly when I wrote it and it was an impulsive thought.

Lastly

FUCK HE IS sO FINE !!!

Fr he is so cute and handsome!!! Like sir !! You’re fucking fine and like he’s so tall I love how he makes me feel small lol. I’d lowkey stare at him when he wasn’t looking bc 👀👀 bestie ur Cuteee and hot like 😳😳😳 Ngl his shirt went up a little while he was lying down and I saw like his hip bone I think but I was low key screaming on the inside and blushing.I Just have a thing for tall skinny guys and I’m gUILTY AND HE FITS THE DESC PERFECTLY. Also he has a really cute smile and voice … AND HIS BRACESSES ARE SO CUTE. I’m deadass just SIMPING ,DOWN BAD ASF. Omfg and his hands 😳 bestie LEMME HOLD UR HAND. LIKE I DONT THINK I HAVE A HAND KINK BUT MAYBE I DO . I have some pictures of us and they’re cute .. tempted to make one my Lock Screen but that’s crazy and idk maybe creepy ?? But I mean I LIKE ME ,MOLLU, look very cute in the pictures too. We’ll see… gotta deco them heheh .

TLDR; I visited my crush , nothing happened I cried had an anxiety attack, met his mom and might come back to visit later in the year . Also last part is Just me simping over his Michael Cera looking ass lmaoooo

[ificouldflytotheclouds]

And somehow the stars align

So I was just thinking of my top favorite artists of all time: Taylor Swift, One Direction, and 5sos. And they strangely all have similar pathways even though they're on different roads. 

The beginning. 

Out of the three Taylor is the artist I can tell you the least as to how I fell into her music but it I believe it manifested from a friends recommendations. 

One Direction I remember seeing the countdown for WMYB on my sidebar every day I was on youtube, by the time the music video dropped I finally clicked on the videos because I was intrigued by this video trying to encroach on my life. 

5sos was a friend recommendation. 5 Years ago (+1 day) she sent my a link to try hard. I didn’t listen to it at the time because I didn’t want to download anything onto my mom’s computer. A month later she sent me the link to Luke’s cover of please don’t go, it wasn’t till I looked into his other work did I realize he was part of 5sos. Check yes Juliet and drop in the ocean that won me over.

Getting into them

I saw Taylor perform at the mall and after the show we got a signed cd (rip, at the time someone standing near us was like can we meet her after and security was like no, something about being too many ppl, but like…)

For 1d my friend had me watch their video diaries and I fell in love. We saw them at the same mall (and when I say mall I mean the Mall of America, aka the biggest mall in the U. S. A. anyways…) that was crazy busy. We didn’t have tickets but we went to watch anyways, that was fun, and it actually spawned a friendship with someone who went to my school and is now one of my besties now (who was the person who introduced me to 5sos). 

5sos. I remember wanting to go to the Stars, Stripes and Maple Syrup Tour (actually, I completely forgot about this until today, I forgot how whipped I was for them before slsp came out). But we couldn’t go. (rip, wasn’t able to go to wwat for same/similar reasons, but this year finally traveling to Chicago for a show so it kinda makes up for it). Got tickets for Rock Out with Your Socks Out Tour but we ended up selling them to go to a second 1d show. I don’t regret this decision, because 1) that was ones for the books and 2) we knew that this might be the last time we will ever see them (once Zayn left me and my friend were intent on going to more than one show). Back to 5sos, the day of their show we almost ended up getting into their radio show, but we still go to see them walk past. 

The second album ‘Hiatus’

This is where things strangely align

Way back to middle school I wasn’t into music the same way I am now, it was healthier, lol. I still loved Taylor but I didn’t get fearless until Christmas, I fell in love with that album on my grandma’s staircase. I watched all the behind the scenes pictures, but compared to the information that goes out now I knew nothing, I just knew the bigger things (I think this is why I always struggle/feel like I don’t fit in with online Taylor stan culture, bc it wasn’t how I fell for her and her music). We tried to get tickets to the fearless tour but were unsuccessful.

Before I begin with 1d, I also want to remind you that Spotify has not always been around, and even then I didn’t download it till sometime in 2017. I don’t even know when it comes to the tmh era. Back sophomore/junior year when I got into things it would be in waves (it’s starting to go back to that which is healthy). So tmh was when I wasn’t following 1d so much. My friend invited me to see a prescreening of the this is us movie. I /sort of/ forced myself to listen to tmh. TMH era might have been one of their best but there’s a reason why it took me a while to get into this album, it’s just not my fav, I find it the least memorable, even though generally speaking its a better album than uan. (I still love the album don’t get me wrong)

5sos, oh 5sos, just trying to figure yourselves out. I don’t like talking about this much, it’s important to acknowledge but it can also feed negativity. Them as people were getting harder to stand and the fandom was getting to be too much, so I had to say goodbye to social media side. I don’t regret this decision and I really wish I had done this at one point for 1d, but with that, it was a little different (baby gate being announcement was hell). I still loved their music but my friend was pressuring me not to listen to it, so that winter I didn’t buy livesos, but I do remember a year later I listening to the skh ep, and enjoying it (Even though I was iffy about skh at the time). School had started and I was kinda out of the loop so I don’t think I actually knew when sgfg came out (Even though I defs followed a few 5sos ppl still, just not update accounts at the time)

Even though I wasn’t there for sgfg I equate this time period with the self-titled album era - post album release because I was there but I wasn’t. I liked the album but it ended up being the least memorable, similar to take me home. 

3rd album hoopla

For each of them, the hype began months before the album was released, most likely starting with the drop of a single and riding a high from there.

For Taylor it started with her live stream announcing the 3rd album, to mine that released when I was in a cafe in the Northwoods, the album release week was epic, we finally got tickets to see her on tour (for my friends 15th birthday, 15 I still cry I go to listen to this live when I was 15). I EMBODIED THIS ERA. I had my first crush, the world was magical, I was in a world wind.

This was my school friend forcing me to let my fangirl out lol. (For 1d this wasn’t their peak compared to Taylor and 5sos currently, but it was a very important era for me as a fan). It started with me going to the prescreening of this is us, wow I loved them. SNL performances, being excited for the first show, I had all the lyrics printed out so I could sing them...good times. (I feel like 1d’s best era was tmh but I wasn’t there so its not my #1 era as a fan, from there it’s hard to pick bc I didnt get to see them during wwat, I did with FOUR/OTRA, but there was also DRAMA with that era, and then there was MITAM mini era which got us high and dry(ingourtears)).

And now here we are for 5sos’ 3rd album. You can FEEL that this one is different. SGFG was good, heck, that is one of the best albums I have ever heard, and ngl I was low key nervous as to how they were going to out beat it. But that album was rushed, they didn’t get as much time off as it feels, but this album there is SOOO SOOO much love put in this album. And it goes beyond the lyrics. They really pushed themselves, instrumentally, emotionally, vocally, as people. There is growth, expansion. They reinvented themselves, and yet they are just an embodiment of who they always were, the lessons they’ve learned, and just a better more empowered version of themselves. I wish I could remember if it was pre or post want you back but I ended up getting into SGFG (properly) around this time. THe first few songs made it hard to get into the album when I had listened to it in the past. But I was finally able to skip around those (this is one of those times where I probs would've listened to the album earlier if I had spotify at the time) and later fall in love with them. I think that album came in at the right time. I got to go to 5sos3, got tickets for meet you there, youngblood is amazing. Life is great.

Since the 3rd album hoopla for 1d and Taylor

I got to see both of them from row, in the same year,  b stage for 1d and center catwalk for Taylor. Still love them, they’re chill, since 2015 I can say I’ve seen Niall at least once every year, 2 times for OTRA, met him during his golf tournament in ‘16, 2 radio shows in ‘17 on which Liam also played at. I have a Harry concert in a few days, seeing Niall twice this year to continue the tradition, might see Taylor (tixs are sooooo expensive, don’t love her new album that much but this girl loves  Taylor sooo, I’m not going to miss it - I don’t hate it but it’s just not the same as how I feel in love with yb instantly, it doesn’t give me that feel), and I get to see 5sos again in the fall (I want to go to their Chicago radio show so bad bc it’s close to the Chicago Niall show, but not close enough, darn)

[rlyrileyhope-blog]

More Than.

The #Immorethan project (created by me) is a way for people to convey that they are more than whatever is or used to hold them back. It’s a way to rip off the “bandaid” of pressure whether be put on by society, family, school, or even ourselves- it’s a way to show what we’re overcoming or what we’ve overcame. 

Part of a vital process of healing or coming to terms is talking about it. The most difficult, yet most necessary part; opening up. Inviting others in, to help the healing. 

To start with, I rounded up an inspirational and talented group of models and photographers. After not being able to decide what I wanted to do for this shoot and just knowing I wanted people’s voices to be heard and others to be inspired; including myself- this is what the concept I came up with and with the help of a team, we achieved.

 I told models to write something negative that’s impacted them throughout their lives on a white shirt and underneath, on a colored shirt, start the phrase “I’m More Than” and finish it.

So on Saturday, January 21st, we met at Pulse Nightclub to create this masterpiece. Below are photos from the event as well as a models’ opening up and some sharing with you; #ImMoreThan 

Ripping the hurt, the past, and the pain off and throwing it away

Models (L to R): Zee Lavelle, Dedrianna Siracusa, Anna Reed, Angel Aguilar, Patrick Gold, Leira Lynn (with son, Leon)

Photographers (from top to bottom): Godbodiii Visuals, Ethe Price, Joey G. Neas

Front to Back: Anna Reed, Angel Aguilar; Photographed by Joey G. Neas

Model: Angel Aguilar; Photographed by: Joey G. Neas

Model: Angel Aguilar; Photographed by GodBodiii Visuals

Model: Angel Aguilar; Photographed by Ethe Price

“Immature. Im-mature. I'm mature. It's a long story why I chose this word. This word reminded me of my past.

It started with a childhood/lover of mine. We have been together for great 8 years. There has been been a lot of things that happened. I moved here in the US with family and left him in the Philippines. I have no choice. After 8 months, we broke up. It's not the distance but this word that I have. How maturity works on us. Mature couples don't "fall in love", they know that they are in love. Love is not just a sudden feeling, it's a feeling that you grow and raise with. Relationships with such immaturity always has questions. "Who?" "When?" "How?" Full of uncertainty. "Does he love me?" "Is he cheating or seeing somebody else?" "Will it be forever for us?" There is no trust. Mature relationships don't need these questions because they already know the answers for them. They have T-R-U-S-T.

We didn't know each other that well and how this "maturity" works that's why we didn't work. A few months past, we realized that without love, immaturity will prevail. In LOVE, there is trust and everything will just come in to place in their own right time. You FEEL extraordinary things and most importantly you FOLLOW YOUR HEART.”

---Angel Aguilar

Model: Dedrianna Siracusa; Photographed By: Ethe Price

Model: Dedrianna Siracusa; Photographed By: GodBodiii Visuals

Model: Dedrianna Siracusa; Photographed By: Ethe Price

“We often ask small children what do you want to be when you grow up. I've never once heard a girl respond "I want to be an object". Yet, that's what is still occuring in 2017. We have a president that coined the phrase "grab them by the pussy", further objectifying women. What I wear, what I drink or what I say doesn't determine my worth. I want to remind each of you we are more than our bodies, more than our height, weight or skin color. There is so much more to me than what you see. I have dreams and goals, tears and fears. My body does not define who I am or how you will treat me!”

---Dedrianna Siracusa

Models (L to R): Zee Lavelle, Patrick Gould, Dedrianna Siracusa; Photographed by: Ethe Price

Model: Patrick Gould; Photographed by: Ethe Price

Model: Patrick Gould; Photographed by: Ethe Price

“So I chose sinner because I have been called this word before by somebody who is very religious. It was in an attempt to bash my sexuality and who I am as a person. They told me I was going to burn in hell for being gay. Instead of responding with hate I told them that is their opinion and if they wish to think so then that is their right. I reminded myself that who I am is not wrong and this is my life and I can live it how I want. So I continue to stay true to myself and be who I am.”

---Patrick Gould

Model: Anna Reed; Photographed by: Ethe Price

Model: Anna Reed; Photographed by: Joey G. Neas

Model: Anna Reed; Photographed by: Godbodiii Visuals

“Social justice, current issues. Sometimes I think I don't have much to say here because my issues aren't necessarily current issues nor do they have much to do with social justice. After careful contemplation, though, I realized that every issue, every pain is worth addressing no matter how small. This is a little of my story and while some endured much more pain, I think it is time for me to raise my own voice. Mistake. It's the first thing your eyes are drawn to upon glancing at this shirt and it's also the first thing that comes to mind when I think of things that I have been labeled as, things that have hurt me deeper than words can express. Mistake, like all labels, is just a word. It can be used in many contexts but when it is placed in an angry tirade and hurled at a sobbing preteen girl by someone who is supposed to love her, it becomes a dagger that slices through the proverbial arteries feeding her very soul. To be told that "God makes mistakes and you are one of them" is enough to crush anyone not to mention someone who is already fragile and breaking from physical and emotional abuse.Stupid girl. I have never felt very smart. Sure, I didn't do too shabby in college but I don't think the same way everyone else does. I learn differently. I process things and think about things in my own way. My mind is more creative than it is analytical but somehow I was still stupid. As a child, my reactions were never quick enough. I fidgeted and twitched when I was nervous and my words became a tangled mess as they tried to exit my mouth. As an adult, my adrenaline pumps at the thought of public speaking, singing, tests, and even talking to new people. What if I say something dumb? What if I am too stupid to take this class? I catch myself assuming I am still that "stupid girl" that was unable to perform to some unknown set of standards that kept becoming more impossible no matter how hard I tried. Fat. That word is like a constant needle prick. It's not enough to do extensive damage on the surface but it still causes pain and sometimes irreparable damage. For the record, I was never "overweight." The stress of growing up the way I did actually made me thin- thin to the point that I couldn't keep weight on to keep my clothes in place but somehow I was still "fat." I went to college and gained weight- almost 55 pounds the first semester and it gave some merit to the word. Anytime I have gained weight whether during pregnancy or the holidays, that word rings in my ears.Ugly. It usually came with the previous label. "Fat and ugly." They were friends, besties really, and took up permanent residence in my memory after hearing them so many times. When I look in the mirror, they dance in my head. They taunt me when someone gives me a compliment so much so that I feel I must correct them. /react-text 
react-text: 59 Worthless, nothing. I don't know which is worse- to be told you are worthless and have no purpose or to be told you are nothing. Nothing. Irrelevant. Invisible. Nonexistent. I am the girl who can be in a crowd and feel absolutely alone. I am the girl who has to fight every day to feel relevant, to feel useful in some small way. You only have to hear these words once for them to have a deep impact.Unstable. When you hear "unstable" you might think unpredictable even dangerous, on one minute and completely off the next. It's hard to remember positive things when you have so many hurtful and negative memories haunting you. Somehow this makes you negative, it makes you unstable. This label was haphazardly pasted on me by someone I thought was a friend at one of the most painful times in my adult life- the sudden loss of my brother. I was pregnant, living away from family, working late hours, and now trying to grasp on how to handle this hole in my heart. I had never done anything worthy of being called unstable and yet here I was. Instead of a warm hug, I was given a new name. I was held at arms length while they gossiped about their perception of me. No one knew my hurt and they certainly weren't trying to find out. Instead they stood back and stabbed me in the back. I began to wonder if I really was crazy. Maybe they saw something I couldn't. Maybe if I try to be happy and chipper they will think differently. Or maybe it would just be one more thing to drive me deeper in my shell."You need me." There is a reason I wrote these words around the neckline. These are the words that had a strangle hold on me for years, choking the life out of any confidence I tried to develop, making sure I knew I couldn't do anything alone. "You need me." It's not a label per say but it was something I was told over and over again. I was a victim of sexual assault. I never thought I would say those words. I never thought I would have enough guts to tell but here I am. You would think that anyone in that situation would end it and walk away but I couldn't. I was a prisoner, not in a physical sense but in a mental and emotional one. I had no one to talk to and nowhere to go. And I needed him. He made sure of that. No one else understood and I couldn't make it without his support. I was convinced. I was obedient but I hated every minute of it. As I sit here typing these words so many years later, my stomach wrenches as much now as it did while I lived it. I had no idea what was happening to me but I knew I couldn't live that way. I don't remember what miracle pulled me out but even then it took me over a year to find a way to cut all ties. I still have nightmares. I still struggle to tell myself I can do it alone, I can stand on my own two feet. Labels do not define me. They are a description and not an accurate one at that. They are an assumption, a false conclusion and a closer look at me will prove it. Today, I choose to cut this noose. I choose to share the little of my story that has taken me years to tell. It may not be all of it but it's a start. I choose to symbolically shed ALL of these labels. Beneath all these words and beneath all this pain lives a person, a human being. I bleed red. I breathe air. I need respect, love, friendship, and understanding as much as the person next to me. I have a mind and a soul that is worth so much more than a few calloused assumptions. I am capable of beautiful things. I care and I love no matter how many times I am hurt. Because I am more than words.”

---Anna Reed

Believe and love yourself. You are more than your challenges, your situation- whatever it may be. You are more than it and you will overcome.

Models: Leira and Leon Photographed by: Jennifer Slak

Model: Leira Lynn; Photographed by: Ethe Price

Models: Zee Lavelle and Patrick Gould; Photographed by: Ethe Price

Models: Angel Aguilar and Anna Reed; Photographed by: Ethe Price

Model: Zee Lavelle; Photographed by: Godbodiii Visuals

Model: Patrick Gould; Photographed By: Godbodiii Visuals

Models: Zee Lavelle and Dedrianna Siracusa; Photographed by: Godbodiii Visuals

Models: Zee Lavelle, Dedrianna Siracusa, Angel Aguilar; Photographed by: Godbodii Visuals

All Models Present; Photographed by: Godbodiii Visuals

All Models Present; Photographed by: Godbodiii Visuals

[placetobenation]

Tomorrow is another one of those Divas anniversaries – fourteen years to the day since Trish Stratus and Lita wrestled in the main event of Monday Night Raw in a Women’s Title match.

This is a big one, not only because it was just the second time a women’s match headlined an episode of Raw without any pesky men around, and not only because it was the biggest bout yet between the two biggest stars of the era, but also because it was the culmination of a nine month feud that was far and away the best thing about Raw in 2004.

On a personal note, this is the 20th Deep Dive I’ve written for you kind folks, and in an extraordinary and uncharacteristic show of restraint, I Dove Deep nineteen whole times while barely mentioning the greatest of all time, my sun and stars, moon of my life, Trish Stratus. Now, that’s simply because I’m so excited to talk about ALL of these women and there’s so much to cover, but that streak is well and truly over today because for real dudes, Trish Stratus in 2004 is the greatest gift that He ever sent down from the heavens to grace this wretched wasteland of a planet.

She is God tier.

The entire feud is fantastic, in fact, so let me spin you another yarn. There are about three different soap opera storylines to get through here so the short version of this preamble is that in late 2003 Trish and Lita, bestest best friends, were being pursued by Jericho and Christian respectively, the boys made a bet for $1 (Canadian) that they could hit that, Jericho ended up catching feelings and turning babyface, only for Trish to kick his ass to the curb and turn heel and mack on with Christian on the WrestleMania XX stage.

Thank u, next.

You may wonder how Trish goes from breaking Jericho’s heart to making Lita’s life a living hell. After all, last we saw they were bestest best friends! I’ll tell you how. This was all the fault of a women’s battle royal. In wrestling, some battle royals are throwaway. Others change the course of the next nine months of television. This was the match that launched a thousand skits.

It was a couple weeks after WrestleMania, and this particular battle royal was for No. 1 Contendership. Basically all of the other dorks got tossed during the ad break and we end up with Trish and Lita facing off in a big finishing stretch to determine the winner. Despite Trish and Christian still being in the middle of their feud with Jericho, and despite Jericho’s interference late in this match handing Lita the victory, Trish seems FAR more offended at Lita beating her than at anything Jericho is doing. It’s a subtle shift in Trish’s motivation, where the focus of her vitriol becomes her bestie/archrival, Lita, someone she’s comfortable fighting against, instead of a man that she isn’t really a physical threat to. Heel Trish liked to punch down, and Lita was a much easier target.

She had NO IDEA how much of an easy target Lita would soon become.

For reasons that remain unbeknownst to this day, I believe, one fateful day on Raw, Kane decided to interrupt a Divas tag team match, corner Lita in the ring, and forcibly kiss her. Oh yes my dudes, THIS WHOLE THING THAT HAPPENED.

Kane began stalking Lita on Raw every week, with her then-boyfriend Matt Hardy often getting in the middle. Trish Stratus observed her best friend being relentlessly stalked and molested by a psychopathic monster and decided, “Yep. I am going to ROAST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS BITCH LMAO”

She started out with the gold standard of fuckwithery, “Oh no! Look out! Kane’s behind you! BAHAHAHAHAHA!” And just stepped it up from there.

When Kane defeated Matt Hardy at SummerSlam 2004 for the right to marry Lita (I know, I know…) Trish was kind and thoughtful enough to corral the other heel Divas and throw Lita a bridal shower! (And let me tell you, the way that Trish utters the phrase, “Because you have to marry *KANE*” is just… I saw God.)

Then we ALL saw God when she crashed the wedding itself.

If you can get past the outfit, this run in is also basically the greatest speech anyone has ever made at a wedding. “All you have to do is open your heart! Just like you opened your legs!”

Holy moley.

When Lita was impregnated with Kane’s demon baby as a result of Kane coercing her into sex to protect Matt Hardy (hmmm why does this sound so familiar??) who else was there to greet her backstage with jokes about it “festering” inside her but King Dick Trish. That whole episode in fact (Raw, September 6th) was basically a one woman show. She dragged Lita mercilessly for getting knocked up by Kane, turned around and dragged Nidia for yelling at her in Spanish (“I don’t speak German!”), then dragged Nidia in the ring to one of her best matches like the GOAT she is, and then when Nidia started making her comeback, Trish could super not be fucked dealing with it and just straight up RIPPED NIDIA’S SHIRT CLEAN OPEN to distract her and kicked her head off.

I have no words for that kind of thuggery.

But back to our bullshit, when Lita then lost the aforementioned demon baby after an unfortunate and definitely-not-his-fault incident with Gene Snitsky (I KNOW, I KNOW OKAY!), who was there waiting to savage her some more about losing her pregnancy weight and drop lines like “At Survivor Series you’re gonna lose to me, just like you lost your baby” ?? You guessed it! King Dick Trish, the fucking asshole. What kind of prick trolls someone about having a miscarriage? Jesus.

Speaking of Survivor Series, let me catch you up on other, more normal events. At Bad Blood 2004, after an original Victoria vs. Gail Kim defense was changed to a four way with Trish and Lita, Trish, of course, stole the winning pin from under Lita’s nose and won the belt. From there it’s a tale of two women; Trish ruling atop of the Women’s Division as champ, and Lita toiling away in the Utter Bullshit Division. For months they only really ever met in these backstage skits and promos where Trish would body her over and over when she knew Lita couldn’t retaliate. And that was all they needed to make it the hottest feud on Raw.

Finally, in November Lita moved from the Utter Bullshit Division back into the Women’s Division and immediately set her sights firmly on Women’s Champion King Dick Trish Stratus. The match is made for Survivor Series. Jericho hosts a Highlight Reel featuring the both of them in the lead up, and he brings a referee out with him because he’s TERRIFIED of having them in the same room together.

With good reason. They’ve barely laid a hand on each other since that title match back in June. There is five full months of angst packed into this powder keg.

And it well and truly goes off at the PPV.

Trish comes out first and is STILL making puffy cheeked chubby faces as Lita makes her entrance, determined to make absolutely sure of her own death I guess. Lita walks down to the ring and punches Trish right in her fucking face. And punches her again. And again.

Then they go outside and all hell breaks loose. Lita grabs a chair and absolutely WALLOPS Trish for the DQ. Trish BLEEDS. Women NEVER bleed on WWE TV, but Trish got that juice brother. Lita kept going crazy and blasted Trish from behind right into the stairs in one of the greatest camera shots of all time. Trish freaks out spectacularly at the sight of her own blood. And somehow, considering this was an immediate DQ finish for a PPV title match they spent half the year building, this was some great business.

From this point forward Lita is fascinating to watch. You might think she’d go on some crazy tear of babyface revenge going after Trish’s title, but she’s actually the complete opposite. She’s not frantic or wild or in a hurry. She’s… calm. Almost serene. It’s as if she knows at this point that she HAS Trish. She’s got her. She’s finally free to fight her, she already beat the shit out of her at Survivor Series, now Trish is wearing a face mask on her broken nose that Lita can gleefully target, and she knows her day is coming. Lita is completely free to punch Trish in the face all she wants for all of the shit she’s been talking all year. Lita is free. Finally. And so she doesn’t chase Trish. She takes her time. She enjoys it. After all of the crazy shit she’s gone through in 2004, it’s actually a relief to just enjoy beating up a familiar foe in a wrestling match.

I bang on a lot about Trish here, and it’s always the heels that get to have more fun, but don’t sleep on Lita. She was also great during this entire angle (while having to do some truly horrid bullshit) and this part of it in particular was some fantastic work.

So the return match for title is finally made (by the ever-present Chris Jericho in his role as guest GM, in a nice touch) for the December 6th Raw. This show happens to be in Charlotte, not very far at all from Lita’s hometown at the time of Sanford, NC. The Women’s Title gets that main event slot baby. They spent the whole night recapping the feud to build up to it. Jim Ross dropped a great line about how to these women, this title means as much as the World’s Heavyweight Title does to the guys. The scene is set.

But not before one last backstage skit. We couldn’t really have it any other way. Trish had taken to calling Lita “The Walking Kiss of Death” and jokingly asked who’s career Lita was going to kill tonight, to which Lita obviously replied, “Yours” and gave her a big smackeroo. Now, Lita was just being smart here because as we know from this and Mickie James in the near future, kissing Trish before a match increases your chances of having a motherfucking BANGER with her by at least 1000%.

That’s just science.

What is a lot harder to explain with science is how Lita actually survived the match.

Y’all remember THAT bump. Lita hit a tope and landed so hard on her face her body scorpioned ov-argh. Nope. It’s fourteen years later and we know she was fine but man is it still hard to watch. She only came back from the broken neck a year earlier! Lita is officially a cyborg.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it, but it’s a shame that the scorpion bump is sometimes the only thing people remember about this match. What’s important to remember about this match is that IT FUCKING RULED.

The tension was palpable from the bell, and the crowd was ready. Trish took off her face mask and used it as a weapon BECAUSE HER FACE WAS FINE AFTER ALL in a move so dastardly it caused Jim Ross to wig the fuck out on commentary. Lita’s bad bump ended up serving the match, lending a lot of weight to Trish working over Lita’s head and neck during the heat. Lita came back with a powerbomb and the rare and elusive women’s superplex. There were a bunch of great, close nearfalls, and at this point the crowd was going insane chanting for Lita. When she finally went up and hit the redemptive, life affirming Moonsault for the win, people went APESHIT. J.R. literally screamed himself hoarse raving about Lita coming back from all that punishment and winning the belt.

A trillion and three quarter stars.

Revolution or no Revolution, this is still one of the very best women’s matches in company history. And the perfect capper, at that point, to a rivalry that had started all the way back in 2000, and boiled over so spectacularly in 2004. I just love these women.

You can actually watch the full match on WWE’s Youtube here.

That was a lot, and yet like, I feel like I didn’t even scratch the surface with Trish, or even get into half of the stuff with Kane and Lita and all of that nonsense. I’m going to suppress the masochistic urge to dive into it that further, and come back next week to talk about another one of my favourite girls, the unfairly-maligned Divas of the world.

Check it out: No. 1 Contender’s Battle Royal (Raw, April 5th 2004) Trish Stratus vs. Lita (Raw, April 12th 2004) Trish Stratus vs. Lita (Raw, May 17th 2004) Victoria vs. Gail Kim vs. Trish vs. Lita – Women’s Title (Bad Blood 2004) Trish Stratus vs. Lita – Women’s Title (Survivor Series 2004) Trish vs. Lita vs. Molly – Women’s Title (Raw, November 22nd 2004) Trish & Molly vs. Victoria & Lita (Raw, November 29th 2004) Trish Stratus vs. Lita – Women’s Title (Raw, December 6th 2004)

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E3

Welcome back!  In case you’re new, this is LET ME WATCH TV 4 U (?), the blog where I watch tv so you don’t have to! If you missed it, I wrote a special mid-week post this past week which broke down the main characters called: new phone who dis? Check it out here. 

Also reminder that I have a new feature called “Why does this scene even matter?” (WDTSEM) for those seemingly useless scenes which may or may not actually be important later.

Tonight’s episode featured the FIRST EVER meeting of Bae and Khaleesi, so let’s get into it!

************************SPOILER ALERT************************************

We start off on Dragonstone….

...which is the island where Khaleesi and co have posted up. Bae rows up with no-knuckles in a tiny rowboat and meets his old pal Tyrion on the sand. T is like remember when we met in season 1 and I peed off the edge of the wall that you were guarding lol jk lol jk? And Bae is like yep you were so wasted, bro. They also meet Khaleesi’s hottie translator with the good hair who’s like welcome, please hand over all of your weapons. And Bae’s like BUT I THOUGHT I HAD TSA- PRE CHECK! And T’s like naw, we’ve really had to tighten up our policies here. Some horse-dudes also take their little rowboat away.

As Bae and No-Knuckles (NK) are walking up to meet Khaleesi, her dragons do a quick perimeter sweep and really freak out poor little bae (see gif above). Watching all of this unfold from a creepy high-up-spying-spot is the Red Witch Lady who brought Bae back from the dead but then got kicked out and also Sleevey. The Red Witch is like I did my part, I brought Khaleesi and Bae together. And Sleevey’s like… don’t you want to see their first meeting? I think it might be like the Hamilton-Burr meeting in the musical Hamilton? And she’s like nope I got kicked out for burning a kid alive so not really welcome around him or NK. And he’s like ya you better get to steppin’ back East. And she’s like NO YOU better get to steppin’ back east.

WDTSEM? Truly no idea. I guess we’re supposed to be reminded that Sleevey hates religion because a religious zealot cut off his who-ha and ho-ho’s and therefore they do NOT get along?

Now, if you’ll recall Khaleesi is a pretty kewl lady. She campaigned on an anti-slavery platform back in the East and brought together a bunch of different groups of people all while keeping dat hair and dem outfits on point. And Bae is also a pretty kewl dude. He supports refugees and fights for the underserved and also looks fly as hell doing it. I know what you’re thinking, ARE THEY BOTH SINGLE? THEY SHOULD BONE? Well, unbeknownst to both of them, they’re actually related; she’s his aunt. But considering this episode featured a sex scene between a man and a woman who happen to be TWINS, I feel like aunt-nephew is not too weird for GoT-land. Back to the point, this is the first time Bae and Khaleesi are ever meeting and due to their similarities on paper, you’d think they’d get along. But turns out they do not.

Khaleesi is basically like #bowdownbitches and Bae is like naw dawg. They go back and forth for awhile, with Khaleesi explaining how/why she should overtake Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) and Bae basically agreeing but saying his real concern is the giant army of ice zombies. And she’s like lol wut? Ice zombies? Nice try, dude. Next thing you know, Sleevey rolls up and is like ruh-roh! Remember last episode when our pals Previously-Traumatized Theon (PTT), his sis Yara aka the Kween of the Iron Islands, and the Sand Queen lady sailed off to Southern shore to be mobilize our forces down South? Well PTT and Yara’s uncle, Uncle-Crazy-Pants (UCP) attacked them, burned most of their ships, and took Yara and the Sand-Queen lady hostage.

Next, we get a shot of PTT washing up and getting pulled into a boat where he reports that his sis was taken hostage and no, sorry, he wasn’t able to get her back. His peeps are like ugh what’s your deal, bro? But poor bb PTT has been through a lot so give him a break, ok?!?

WDTSEM? Well the Sand Queen and Yara were supposed to bring together all of Yara’s fleet of ships (which was approx. a buttload) and then head to Sand Queen’s home (Dorne) and bring together that whole army and then march up to King’s Landing, where QPC is sittin’ on dat throne. Now that they’re captured and their ships are burnt, this is a huge loss to Khaleesi.

Speaking of Uncle-Crazy-Pants, let’s check in on him in King’s Landing…

UCP is marching down the streets of King’s Landing doing a pretty good impression of Aladdin during the “Make Way for Prince Ali” scene. The difference here is that he is dragging along his niece, Yara, as well as the Sand Queen (SQ) lady and one her Sand Snake daughters. He struts up to QPC on his horse and “delivers” her the gift of SQ and her daughter. Now if you’ll recall, one of QPC’s kids, her daughter Myrcella, got kissed on the lips with poison by SQ a few seasons ago and proceeded to die on a lovely boat trip in which her dad/uncle (Jaime) confessed that he was her real dad. So needless to say, QPC and Jaime are NOT FANs of this lady.

UCP is like here, QPC, I brought you these prisoners, can we get married and/or bone now? And QPC is like yep, sure can! But first let’s beat Khaleesi in this giant, ongoing war. She tells him he’s in charge of her naval forces and that her bro is in charge of the Lannister army. And since UCP is cuckoo, he’s like hey Jaime, can you give me sex tips for when I do it with your sister (honestly, fair question) and obvi Jaime is like NOT KEWL BRO but he has to pretend to like this guy so he bites his tongue.

Then QPC makes a big deal of locking up SQ and her daughter and then kissing the daughter on the lips with poison to be like #reciprocity I guess? And she’s like SQ will have to watch her daughter die and then also hang out in this cave forever. I guess all this torture is really a turn-on because next thing we know, she’s making out with her brother and giving him a blowie right there.

The next morning, they’re all post-coital and he’s like I should...go? And she’s like naw, I’m the kween we can do whatever! And her maid sees them in their nudididity and is like eww?

Then QPC takes a meeting with an important banker who’s like…bitch...you broke. And she’s like gimme a minute, I got dis.

We stop back by Dragonstone to catch Bae bein’ Bae…

By which I mean he’s brooding by a cliff. And Tyrion is like damn I was trying to brood but you look hawter doing it, which is v. true really. They chat about what went wrong back at that meeting between Khaleesi and Bae. Tyrion tells Bae to take a chill pill and think about how crazy he sounds talkin’ bout ice zombies and whatnot. He also tells Bae about all the good things Khaleesi has done and how she’s actually a pretty cool lady. Then he goes and does the same with Khaleesi, basically. He’s like Bae’s a cool guy and all he wants from you are these rocks that you have under your castle that you’re NOT EVEN USING so just let him do that. And she’s like ok fine.

So then we get to Bae-Khaleesi-meeting 2.0 where it’s just the 2 of them, standing on this cliff chatting kween-to-king. She agrees to let him mine the “dragonglass” (rocks that kill ice zombies) under her castle and he kind of agrees to support her in her campaign against QPC? Well mostly he agrees that QPC is no good and Khaleesi would be a better kween. Then Bae’s like… does this mean you believe me re: ice zombies? And Khaleesi is like… no comment.

We head North to Winterfell, where Bae’s sis Sansa was left in charge

And boy is she doing a good job! Which is kind of surprising, only because we’ve never seen her utilize these skills before. She’s walking around telling people to start storing their barley for winter and telling the metal-workers to line their breastplates with leather and generally being a BOSS. Littlefinger, AS ALWAYS, is creeping around behind her doing nothing helpful. He stops to give her some advice about imagining every possible scenario at all times which is like, sure, a good idea in theory but who has time for that?!?

Suddenly her little bro, Bran, who she was told was maybe dead, shows up in Winterfell. She’s like OMG YASS KWEEN YOU’RE ALIVE! And Bran is just sitting there (to be fair he is paraplegic so he couldn’t get up) staring straight ahead and is acting all robotic. I guess it’s because he’s been through some trauma but at this point so has almost every character on GoT and they still manage to register human emotion.

They proceed to have a heart-2-heart by the old-family-magic-face-tree and she’s like so...what’s been going on in the last 6 seasons? And he’s like I am the three-eyed-raven now I can see the past and the present and all scenarios at all times (hmm interesting that this is exactly what littlefinger just advised her to do...) And she’s like cool….so….do you want to be in charge now since you are the oldest living official Stark male and gender roles are apparently still a BFD up North? And he’s like can’t… I have to prophesize. Btw where’s Bae? We know as savvy viewers that he’s looking for Bae because he needs to tell him about the paternity results. 

And then he vividly describes the night she was married off to her psychopath-ex-husband who then proceeded to rape her. He keeps talking about it, too, which I guess is to prove that he can see the past but also NOT trauma-informed and not a welcome conversation. It’s weird.

We stop by Old Town which is more and more like Hogwarts every day…

Mostly because Jim Broadbent is there and because people are getting miraculously cured from turning-to-stone-diseases. Sam, Bae’s bestie, is still interning at the “maester” academy, learning to be a doctor/librarian and you’ll recall that last week he did some under-the-radar experimental surgery to treat Stoney, who happens to be one of Khaleesi’s besties. Now get this, STONEY IS CURED! The artist-formerly-known-as-Stoney is like thanks, Sam, I gotta get back to Khaleesi! And Sam’s boss is like I know you did that amateur surgery and you’re in big trouble but also good job I’m proud of you.

Our last scene is really a montage of scenes so let’s get into it…

I have to admit that even I, GoT-viewing-expert (lol), was confused and overwhelmed by this last scene. So I’ll try to break it down as clearly as I can, but bear with me. We start with Tyrion laying out the current battle plan. Since Khaleesi is pretty ticked that their ships (well technically Yara’s ships but under her direction) were all destroyed by UCP, she mentions finding UCP’s ships and burning them up. How? Well duh, she got dem dragons! It’s strange because I’m pretty sure she’s talking about riding them and commanding them while at the helm, but she never really says this clearly. And Tyrion is like no that’s too dangerous, someone else should do it. Does he mean himself? MAYBE? TBD...

But for now, let’s get into the current battle zones:

Greyworm (fresh off his recent sex scene from last week) and the rest of the “unsullied” army, were sent by Khaleesi and Tyrion to overtake T’s family home, Casterly Rock. There’s this whole montage that Tyrion helpfully narrates about how if the unsullied were to attack Casterly Rock by just popping up on the fortress, they’d be crushed since it was built so well. BUT since Tyrion used to sneak in his sex ladies and booze and other “unsavory” things through the sewer system, he knows it very well. So he instructs Greyworm and a small group to come in through the back and engage in sneak-attack-warfare. They successfully take Casterly Rock, but they’re like...that’s funny...there were supposed to be a lot more people here? And they look out to the sea where it looks like UCP’s ships are burning up all of the ships they rode in on. Which is a real bummer.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Lannister army (all the people who were missing when Greyworm and co. attacked)  led by Jaime, is shown marching on “Highgarden” which is where Grandma Tyrell (Gma) lives, apparently completely alone. Remember that Gma’s son and grandkids all got burned up in that church-explosion by QPC last season and then she decided to back Khaleesi? She also told Khaleesi not to trust Tyrion and to “be a dragon.” Gma is looking out at this whole army of Lannister dudes and is like well...IDGAF at this point, really. Important to note that Sam’s Dad (who is a major dick) and Sam’s bro (who’s actual name is Dickon) as well as Tyrion’s old pal Bronn are on the front lines with Jaime, even though last week Sam’s dad was like I could NEVER betray Gma Tyrell.

WDTSEM? Remember when QPC said she’d pay back all of her debts to the banker? Well Highgarden is famously wealthy and has lots of important exports (like grains, for example). So with Jaime and QPC in possession of all of that, as well the coffers of Casterly Rock which he says he cleared out, they can now pay them back, theoretically. Also, Highgarden is down South so now QPC and co have a stronghold down there.

Jaime meets Gma in her study for some light refreshments and death threats. Gma is like well… shoulda seen this coming. Also, did you know your sister/lover is the worst human ever? Like seriously a sociopath? And Jaime is like, oh you think she’s so bad? Well how about this? She is going to let you die from poison rather than torture- isn’t that sweet?!? And gma is like ugh whatever give me the poison, put it in my wine plz. She drinks it in one gulp and then she’s like oh, BTW, I know that Joffrey (the evil little prince dude who was poisoned and killed at his wedding to Gma’s granddaughter, Queen Makeunder) is your son cuz of incest and also, I’m the one who poisoned him. And Jaime is like maybe mad or maybe not? Maybe just surprised? Gma is like tell QPC that it was me who killed Joffrey, k? Ps I hate QPC ok bai, time to die. 

WDTSEM? For so long QPC’s only redeeming quality (as told by all of the other characters) was her love for her children. After all 3 had died, she took over the throne and started in on this crazy reign of terror. Now she has SQ captive and is torturing her for killing her daughter and with this admission, she’s also killed the person responsible for one of her son’s deaths. Will ticking off those responsible for killing her main motivation in life help her find closure or make her more of a monster? I’d guess the latter.

Now let’s break it down:

Biggest surprise this ep: The attack on Highgarden! I did not see that coming and also did not fully understand at first. The way the scene was shot, it seemed like gma was in on this invasion, but obviously she was not, as she was later killed by said invaders.

Biggest letdown: Bran was so lackluster and un-enthuz’ed about finally seeing his sister and his hometown again. It’s like we get that you have magic powers now but could you show some effort here?

Important fashion moments: Bae’s meeting-the-kween-but-I-also-have-armor-on look was pretty fly and even though she is THE WORST, I was feeling the red-witch-lady’s linen-y red scarf/cape 

Who died this ep? The Sand Queen’s daughter (the last of the “Sand Snakes”), a bunch of unsullied soldiers out at sea, and Olenna Tyrell (aka gma Tyrell) RIP. 

Check in this time next week for more LMWTV4U and thanks for reading. Tell your friends!

Correction: I’ve recently discovered that I’ve been spelling Jaime Lannister’s name wrong for my entire blog-writing career. My apologies. 

Also, you might IDGAF this but just to lay it out there, I purposefully avoid all other recaps/reviews/think-pieces about the latest episode in the time between watching the ep and writing this recap. Sometimes I will hop on to the GoT wiki page to find out a character’s name or check a fact but mostly it’s just my own notes that I reference. 

WHY AM I EVEN SAYING THIS? I often will read other recaps/reviews after writing and posting this one and I’m like OMG WE HAD THE SAME REACTION/ SAID THE SAME THING about a scene or a character. So I guess I just wanted to say that any similarities between this recap and any other recap are unintentional and coincidental. 

I know what you’re thinking: PROVE IT. Well, much like Bae trying to prove the ice zombies are real, I can’t prove it, I can only state the facts and hope that my time-worn face and honest peepers will be enough :)